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Moving Forward

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Forgiveness Resources — GVF // Grace Valley Fellowship

Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. What to do about it? Denis Waitley. STEP 3: Breaking the thought patterns. STEP 4: Forgiving yourself emotionally. STEP 5: Rebuild yourself.

Mark Twain. STEP 6: Reconnecting with you. This part is simple. Need a friendly ear?


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  • When we feel regret, remorse, anxiety, anger at ourselves, anxiety and self-blame, those emotions cue us that we need to deal with self-condemnation. For other people, it is rumination and brooding self-blame that is the key.

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    The person feels terrible in a funky, kind-of-depressed state, but he or she finds that rumination is present often. That confrontation can trigger remorse and a desire to deal with the self-blame. So, emotions, thoughts and interactions with others can all kick off the need to forgive oneself. There is something important, though, about self-forgiveness. I champion responsible self-forgiveness, not simply letting oneself off the hook.

    The second step repent and repair relationships is about making amends for failures and wrongdoing. The third is about repairing the psychological damage we have done through our failure or wrongdoing. The third grouping Realistic Living involves the difficult work of accepting oneself as flawed by precious and of resolving not to continue to do the things that one blames oneself for, but instead doing virtuous and positive things.

    Before you got into this field, would you describe yourself as a forgiving person? Well, I was a Christian and I tried to practice forgiving others, but I had not thought much about forgiving ourselves. I knew that forgiving was important, but short of just gritting my teeth, I did not know how to forgive others. Studying this psychologically and digesting the wisdom of clients, just-folks who have shared their experience forgiving, reading the research from others, and continuing to read theological accounts of forgiveness, all have helped me digest that accumulated wisdom into five steps that seem to help people who want to forgive be able to do so successfully.

    You are a man of faith, and write extensively about God's forgiveness and understanding. But you also write that self-forgiveness is not limited to people of faith. How could, say, an atheist approach this book?